What to Expect When Your Child Begins Martial Arts

When your child begins a martial arts program, chances are good that you are hoping for certain changes to occur. We all want to see our children grow in maturity, strength, and spirit, and we want them to learn new skills and gain new confidence. But what is the process, how will you know if it's working, and how long does it take?

Every student is different and so there are no finite answers, but the expectations of the instructor should be flexible and compassionate based on each student's individual abilities. Abilities will range vastly based on the age, motor development, and maturity of the child. For example, children under the age of five years should be taught separately from children in the six to 10 year age-range. Scientific studies clearly show that their motor development skills are very different.

You should expect to be given a few clear-cut rules for the classroom. There are etiquette rules, and rules for safety and general behavior. It helps if you learn and follow these rules as an additional example to your child. It will show that you respect the rules as much as your child should.

At the beginning there is usually lots of excitement about training. This is wonderful, but because there is a certain amount of repetition involved to become proficient, students may get bored or frustrated at some later point in their training. This is normal and is actually expected. This is a perfect time to teach your child patience and perseverance. Encourage your child, and remind him or her that to be good at anything you have to practice over and over until it becomes natural. Some of the responsibility also lies with the instructors who should vary their teaching methods to disguise the repetition.

If your child complains of being bored or not wanting to go to class, share this with your instructor. They should be able to help. If they are experienced instructors, they should have the skills to decipher the reason for your child's disinterest and address it. Many times a little extra recognition from an instructor can motivate and encourage a young student. Also ask yourself, does my child look happy in class? Does my child feel good after class? If that is the case, look at your child's activities directly before class. Are they playing with friends on the playground or deeply engrossed in the latest Nintendo game? They may simply lack the ability to see how missing class adversely affects their goal of a higher-ranking belt. As a parent you have probably seen this scenario played out on a daily basis before homework time, or before bedtime. Your child is content with their current activity and reacts negatively when you ask them to stop and prepare for bed or begin their homework. Even though it is in their best interest to follow your directive, they lack the ability to see how getting to bed on time will make them feel better tomorrow at school.

We recommend when starting any new endeavor with a child that you and the child make a contract. Something like this:

" If you start this class (sport, project, musical instrument, etc.) then we agree that we will dedicate six months (or other reasonable time period) to it. There is no quitting until that time period is past."

This is a commitment for both you and your child so be sure that you can set aside the time to get him/her to class. Let your child know that you will not discuss quitting until the end of the established contract. When your contract time is up, you will talk again about where we want to go from there.

This approach allows your child to begin to take the steps necessary to reach towards goals of responsibility, reliability and respect. Not allowing your child to quit when they feel bored, or when classes get tough, teaches perseverance and strength of character. You can also explain to your child that activities require investments. These investments include time, dedication, attention and money. In order to gain on those investments, you have to work at them and care for them. Let you child in on what it costs to go to classes and buy equipment, perhaps even make an agreement that each new piece of equipment is purchased by the child through an extension of his/her contract with you.

As students become more advanced, they go through ups and downs. Martial arts is not seasonal like most team sports. Just when your child gets tired of soccer, the season ends. Since martial arts training is ongoing, it requires discipline and self control. Getting to that point with your child sometimes means wading through uncomfortable emotions. Frustration and fear are experienced along the road to confidence, pride and accomplishment. Be prepared for a wide range of adjustments along the way. Good instructors have the experience of helping lots of students through these same emotions and feelings. They should respect the feelings of the students and be able to guide them to achieving their goals. You can also help by continuing to be supportive and encouraging while not allowing your child to give up. Instructors should be interested in your child's state and progress and should be available to discuss these issues with you.

Martial arts training helps promote focus, problem solving, leadership skills, goal setting, persistence, respect, teamwork, awareness, an ability to think quickly on your feet, and a host of other qualities. These skills will help your children in all they do in life, school, work, relationships, handling peer pressure, and making good decisions to mention a few.